News

Howdy, all. I know I haven't posted here since May. And there's a reason for that.

Remember how excited I was about finally seeing a video of Learning Voyage? Well, that was the same day I got a job offer, which of course I took. Bottom line, I'm now a working man. It's so awesome to finally have a job! This is also why I've been busy and haven't updated the blog in some time.

Now, one of the great things about having a job is that I get money. And having money means I can buy stuff. Don't worry, I'm budgeting things. I'm using my money wisely, only making the occasional eBay purchase. Such as the Learning Voyage games, at least in the re-branded "Learning Center Series" form.

Yep, I bought those games on eBay today for a great price. They should be coming later this week or over the weekend. When I finally have them, I can actually make a proper review of them. Should be fun.

Wanna know what isn't fun? Buying a 20 year old piece of hardware that I wanted to cover for the blog, like new, only to find out that because of its age, it didn't work. It had never been used, but because of its age it didn't work at all. I won't go into full details now, because I want to surprise y'all. If I can get it fixed, and that is a big "if", expect it whenever I have it working and can find free time to make a review. But for right now, it doesn't work.

One final piece of news: I am working on a project related to Classworks. Once again, I won't give you all the details. You'll have to wait until the project is actually completed, which might take a while.

But between these projects, my job, and school (I'm almost ready to get my Associates), it's been hectic. I haven't found a lot of time, or a lot of subjects, for the blog. Just know that I'm here, I'm alive, I haven't forgotten about the blog, and I am planning to write a proper post eventually. After the Learning Voyage games, I've got some other things in mind. I'm not going to try to do a theme for each month like I tried the last time; that's simply too much for me.

What I'll do instead is what I've been doing: review what I want, when I want to. Things like Mr. Potato Head Saves Veggie Valley would probably take a long time to get the footage, since that's a point-and-click adventure game, versus games like KidPhonics, which is just a phonics-themed activity center. (Speaking of KidPhonics, maybe I should go back and do a proper review of that game?)

So yes, bottom line, stuff is gonna happen. It's exciting. Hope you're looking forward to it! As always, if you have anything obscure you'd like to see me cover, please let me know. See you next time!

-Johnny

A Triumphant Return

And what a return it is, my God.

Thanks to the awesome Lingyan203 on YouTube, I have discovered more information about the Learning Voyage games!! He uploaded a video here (not embedding it because it's not my video), and INSTANTLY the nostalgia came back.

...Except of course, I was wrong about some things. This post is going to correct what I got wrong once and for all!

So, to start, the family's names. They are called the "DiscoverCraft Crew", because they are the crew of a floating museum called the DiscoverCraft. The dad is named Parsec, the mom is Nanosec, the son is Arno, and the daughter is ZZ. I didn't even know that when I made my original post(s) about these games.

Next, the lines I remembered from the intro. It turns out the museum was invaded by sand worms, not ants.

Parsec: The only way sand worms could have gotten into the engine room is through the back door, and we put worm traps by the back door!
Arno: Uh-oh. I thought you said, "Put trap doors back by the worms"!

And the clown dunking game. It was actually called the "Dunkolator", but there was no way I could have known that because A) I forgot, and B) the only information available was from Classwell's website. Once again they were guilty of "Cowboy Bebop At His Computer". As was I for trusting their information. Also, the puns I remembered from that game were "Here's an exhibit that's bound to make a big splash!" and "Do not try this at home; our clown is a drained professional!" I was pretty close, sure, but I didn't have the quotes exactly right.

Oh yeah, and the "exhibit" thing. The hub for both games (not just Swamped as I had thought before) is a museum lobby, because the DiscoverCraft is a museum. Each minigame is presented as an exhibit in the museum. Watch the video for more.

Last and most importantly, I have found out that the Learning Voyage games were eventually re-branded as part of Davidson's Learning Center Series. Sand Trapped was Davidson's Learning Center Series: 3rd Grade, and Swamped was Davidson's Learning Center Series: 4th Grade. Surprise of surprises. And you know what else? Those releases are actually fairly common! I've seen them at thrift stores many times, and I've also seen them on eBay for a few dollars each. I'll have to keep my eyes peeled for them next time I go to a thrift store.

So anyway, that's about it from me. Now I can finally shut up about these games, and instead continue to talk about ClassWorks. In fact, I've got a "History of ClassWorks Gold" video in the works right now. I will also begin to talk about some other games that were featured in ClassWorks, such as Math Sequences and The First "R".

In addition, I found a disk image of another Apple II game I played as a kid: Quilting Bee by MECC! I've got a lot of exciting stuff planned (well, exciting to me, at least). But for now, it's one huge mystery solved, and about a dozen more to go. Until next time, remember to keep on discovering your crafts.

...No? All right, I'll leave the humor to the clown.

-Johnny

Playskool Play-Doh Creations

Stupid me. Stupid, stupid me. Playskool is owned by Hasbro.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, on to this week's post. Sorry I didn't get to it on Friday. I have no excuse this time; I had the video recorded and everything.

This game was published by Hasbro and Playskool some time in the 90s, and was released for Windows and Macintosh. As usual, I recorded this from a Macintosh emulator, using Open Broadcaster Software.



The game starts off with one of the catchiest songs I have ever heard, with some ridiculous lyrics. "Everybody come aboard for the latest sensation! The magical island of Play-Doh Creations!" Then it explains everything that you can do. If you ask me, the theme song is completely unnecessary.

Play-Doh Pete, in all his creepy off-the-can glory

The game takes place on Play-Doh Island, and there's no plot here: it's just an activity center/painting program, kind of like Kid Pix but without the ability to draw anything yourself.

You can visit five different places: the Laboratory, the Factory, the Bakery, the Mall, and the Theatre. However, you can't visit the Theatre until you have some creations.

The laboratory

The bakery

The factory

The mall

Something that bugs me about this game: your creations from other places come with you. For example, I started with the Laboratory. When I go to the Factory, the creature I made in the Laboratory comes with me. This kind of defeats the whole purpose of making something different.

Honestly, that's my biggest complaint about this game: there's very little variety. You go to any place and the goal is the same: make something out of Play-Doh and use tools to make it look somewhat different. The designs are different depending on where you go, but the tools are always the same. Also, you have to use the existing designs. All this adds up to having very little room for creativity.

Anyway, once you've made some creations, you can go to the Theatre and put them in the Great Doh Show. Simply select a creation, then select the scene you want it to be in, then click on the curtain. The applause meter at the top always seems to go all the way to the top, so I don't know why it's even there. Also, the intro lied: you don't need to make a poster at all.

One of the trying-too-hard-to-be-funny scenes you can make in the Great Doh Show

Bottom line: it's easy to see why this is so obscure. The only things I remembered about this game were the Great Doh Show and the song that it plays while it's loading. Other than that, it's pretty boring. Play Kid Pix instead. Or don't. If you like this game still, good for you, but I can't say I do.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let me tell you what I've got planned for Friday: a little point-and-click adventure game called Mr. Potato Head Saves Veggie Valley. I know, what a title. Until then, remember: Play-Doh is fun to play with, not to eat!

-Johnny

Filler video

So... remember that filler video I was supposed to make last week?

Finally got around to it this week.



The video says it all. I'll just say I was supposed to do Tonka Space Station this week, but due to extremely annoying technical difficulties I was unable to get any footage of it. Anyway, I have declared November to be Hasbro/Playskool Month. It was originally going to just be Hasbro Month, but then I realized one of the computer games I wanted to talk about was not published by Hasbro. (Very late edit: Yes it was.) Why I thought it was, I don't know. (Very late edit: IT. WAS. PLAYSKOOL OWNS HASBRO.) The game in question is Playskool Play-Doh Creations for Windows and Mac, and that's going to be for next week's blog post. And I may as well reveal what I have planned for the week after that as well: Mr. Potato Head Saves Veggie Valley.

Anyway, sorry for the short (and late... again...) post this week. See ya next time!

-Johnny

More apologies and random memories of LodgeNet

Here we go again. I'm always late with my blog posts. Even when I write a schedule I'm still late. Sorry, but I'm going to have to postpone Type to Learn (and the other stuff I had planned) if I want to keep up with my schedule. I'll be making a filler video on Friday (a filler video that was planned for Friday anyway), then I hope to be back to my regular schedule by next week, assuming I can get the footage I need.

While we're on the subject of filler, anyone remember LodgeNet? I realize this isn't the most obscure thing to talk about, but I feel like LodgeNet is becoming less common and more obscure as time goes on. So what am I talking about?

LodgeNet was/is a system in hotels (hence the "lodge" part) whereby you could watch movies on pay-per-view, view hotel services, listen to music and play video games.

Yes, you read that last part correctly: you could play video games at your hotel. But of course, it cost money: 6 bucks an hour, to be specific. This is why my parents didn't let me play games when we went to hotels, unless I brought one of my handhelds with me (back when LodgeNet was still common, I didn't have any home consoles).

No, no, no. My nostalgia didn't come from playing games or watching movies (which our parents did let my sister and me do once). Rather, it comes from the freaking "LodgeNet Welcome Channel". Over the years, the Welcome Channel changed a bit, but the basics stayed the same. You'd turn on the TV and it would immediately go to the channel and say "Welcome, and thank you for choosing our hotel. We hope you enjoy your stay with us!" Or occasionally, "Welcome to (area), and thank you for choosing (name of hotel). We hope you enjoy your stay with us!" Some versions had it repeat the message in Spanish, French, and German. During all this time, this amazingly awesome and cheesy piano piece played. I wish I knew what it was called, and I really wish I could find a full-length, high quality version of it.

Later versions went into detail about all the cool extra stuff you could do on your TV, but the very first versions (which are what I'm nostalgic for) had only one message besides the welcome message: "Press the yellow Menu button for movies, video games, and hotel services." or something to that effect. I do remember "Press the yellow Menu button," and that's about it. That really sucks. I so wish I could find the full version of that intro, but the only videos I can find are of the newer versions of LodgeNet, some of which don't even use that awesome piano song.

It's possible to purchase LodgeNet remotes, game controllers, and even the boxes themselves on eBay. Sadly, they would serve no use and wouldn't actually allow me to re-create the experiences I had with that welcome channel, since everything was on a server (hence the "net" part). Yep, it worked the way Classworks worked: you'd have a server that held all the main software, then you'd use a device (in this case a set-top box rather than a computer) to interface with the network server and the software. So, where's the LodgeNet server software itself? Who knows? If I would ever come across that, I'd pick it up in a heartbeat, but sadly, that doesn't seem likely. It's about as likely as finding an old copy of Classworks.

Sorry for the random post, but it's just something I wanted to talk about. Friday is going to be a video about Quiz Show, a game I made a post about even though I have no pictures of it. Some parts of the post are better heard than just read. I hope you enjoyed your stay with--no. That's not going to end right.

-Johnny

Mathosaurus

Hooray, I'm only 2 days late with this post! That's a record.

Like I promised, today I'm going to talk about a very obscure Apple II game that I played in Kindergarten: Mathosaurus, by Micrograms. Here's the video.



Now, this is the first Apple II game I'm covering here, so I'll have to explain something for those unfamiliar with it: the Apple II was Apple's first successful attempt to break in to the personal computer market. Before the Apple II was, of course, the Apple I, and afterwards they tried to make machines like the Lisa and the Apple III. However, these proved to not be very popular.

The Apple II, like every personal computer of its time, had no mouse, because it didn't have a graphical user interface (GUI), because that wasn't a thing yet. As such, the only method of interface with the Apple II was a keyboard, or a joystick if you were playing a game that used one.

This one did not. When you boot up this game (normally by putting the floppy disk in the drive and then turning the computer on), you're greeted with a very simple title screen.

And also a little bit creepy.

After you PUSH RETURN (or Enter, as the case may be), you're greeted with a very simple game selection menu.

Note the "cool" dinosaurs in the upper right and lower left.

From here, you use the Space bar to select your choice, then press Return/Enter to confirm your selection. The games themselves are very simple and a little bit boring, but hey, that's Apple II for ya. Now, one thing that games like Math Blaster had over this was that the games all had clever names. In this, the games are just called what you'll be doing in them. But not to worry, I've come up with my own names for them!

The first one is what I call "Egg Counting". You're given a number and you're supposed to find a set of that number, represented by eggs.

EGGS! Eggs! E-double-g-s, eggs!

As usual, you use the space bar to select the right set, then press Return. If you've selected the right one, it just tells you "Good." Then a Pterodactyl appears at the top of the screen.

Could they at least have added an exclamation mark?

Once the top of the screen is filled with Pterodactyls, some of the eggs that are left hatch. The game tells you to press Return again, then you go back to the main menu.

Awww, baby dinos! How cute!

The next game is "Dino Counting". Same as Egg Counting, except you're given a set of dinosaurs and you're supposed to choose the correct number for the set.

GAH! This is even more creepy than the title screen!

When you get one right, a blue dinosaur holds a sign up that says "Good!"

Wow, Barney really let himself go.

Once you get enough right, that same blue dinosaur holds up a different sign that says "Good Job" and does a little dance.

He does NOT, however, make a little love. Good.

The other four games are actually only two games, but with different goals. I'll call them "Ice Cream I/II" and "Balloonasaurs I/II".

In "Ice Cream I", you are supposed to count the number of ice cream scoops one dinosaur has and give the other one, Spike, the same number.

At least they don't complain about the flavors.

If you got it right, the bell on the cart rings, Spike nods, and you move on to the next screen. Note that you don't get to see Spike eat the ice cream at all.

After doing this a few times, another dinosaur comes down and eats all of Spike's ice cream.

Who knew dinosaurs loved ice cream so much?

In "Ice Cream II", the other guy is just reading a book. Spike demands he receive a certain number of ice cream scoops, no more, no less.

Not even a "please"?

Once again, Spike never gets to eat the ice cream. After you serve him enough times, that same dinosaur comes down and eats every scoop again. Man, Spike just cannot catch a break, huh?

...Actually, scratch that; he deserves it for being so rude.

In "Balloonasaurus I", you have to choose which dinosaur has more balloons.

...Why's the one guy wearing shoes? I just noticed that now.

And... that's it. After a few times, the one with more balloons floats up.

"So long, sucka!"

"Balloonasaurus II" is the exact same thing, except you're choosing which dinosaur has fewer balloons.

"I've heard of being high, but this is ridiculous!"

After a few correct choices, you get to watch the dinosaur that has fewer balloons fall down to the ground below.

"It was nice hanging with you!"

And that's it. There's no score, no certificate, no rewards other than just some animations at the end. Good grief this game is boring. And to make matters worse, Micrograms made another Mathosaurus game, called Mathosaurus Computation! And no, I'm not going to review that one; it's even more boring than this one!

Sadly, the nostalgia does not save this one. Mathosaurus gets a failing grade.

I guess I was very easily impressed by computer games when I was little; even though I had a Windows computer (the beloved Compudyne, which still works, by the way), I was madly in love with this game. The only other Apple II games I played at my elementary school were "School Bus Driver" by Fisher Price and "Quilting Bee" by MECC. Sadly, I can't find either of these games anywhere. I do know School Bus Driver was also released for MS-DOS, but as far as I know, Quilting Bee wasn't. It was also one of the final Apple II games ever released.

As for Mathosaurus, there was actually a Windows release later on, and that one is still being sold! ...In unit purchases and site licenses only. I also see it pop up on eBay once in a while, but not this one. And now I see why.

Anyway, the next game will be another edutainment game (apparently I can't stay away from those), Type to Learn. Man, I have fond memories of that one. Just remember to watch out for dinosaurs the next time you eat ice cream. They'll do anything for ice cream. See ya next time!

-Johnny

5 Obscure Things I Only Vaguely Remember

Today I wanted to talk about some things that are so obscure, I don't even remember what they were called. I've made a video, but I wanted to give you a sort of Cliff's Notes version here as well for those who don't want to listen to my terrible audio and hear me clearing my throat a dozen times. (EDIT: I've figured out three of them now. One is still bugging me, and the other I'm starting to not care as much anymore.)


1. Those Toy Phones I was Hinting At a While Back

For those who have been reading this blog for a long time, you may recall that I was hinting at making a post about some toy phones. I ultimately decided not to, because A) I don't have any of them anymore, and B) I don't have pictures of any of them.

But I wanted to talk about them anyway. There were three that I knew of: one that was space-themed and said "Star Patrol" on the label, one that was police-themed, and one that was ambulance-themed. Now, what do I mean by "themed"? Well... it's kind of hard to describe.

See, each phone had three rows of three buttons. On the Star Patrol one at least, the buttons were blue, yellow, and orange, I believe in that order. The blue row would play one sound, the yellow row another, and the orange row a third.

Example: The Star Patrol one said "Alien ship! Warp speed!" when you pressed a blue button, and then played this awesome sound that I can't describe, so you'll have to watch the video to hear me imitate it. The yellow row said "Alien ship! Shields up!" and played a different sound. The orange row just said "Warp speed!" and played the first sound then the second sound. For the ambulance one, the blue row would play an ambulance siren, then a guy would say "Emergency! 911!" then it would play the ambulance siren again. I don't remember the other rows. For the police one, the blow row played a police siren, followed by a police officer saying "Slow down car!", followed by... something that I swear sounded like gunshots or something. The yellow row played the siren, then had the police officer say "Slow down car! Emergency!" than played the banging or whatever sound again.

2. An Orange Arcade Game with a Row of Numbered Buttons

I know, kind of a specific (and weird) description, but hear me out. I remember next to nothing about this game. I remember how it looked--it was orange and had a row of numbered buttons, like I said--and that when you put in a token, it would say "Get ready to play!" followed by a group of different people saying what I think was the name of the game, except how I heard it as a kid makes no sense (to me it sounded like "The Claaaaaaaaw Batter!!"). (EDIT: It's actually called Jungle Joggers. Time to forget I completely misheard it.)

That's... really all I have to say about that game. Let's move on to the next one, shall we?

3. An Arcade Game Themed Around Space

So, this one I have very fond memories of. I would play it all the time at Chuck E Cheese's. Unfortunately, what I don't remember is the name. I do remember this: you had a joystick, kind of like the kinds used in crane games, but instead of moving a crane, you were moving this electromagnet. You would use it to pick up metal discs (silver in the center and blue around the edges) and put them in the center.

Every time you picked up a disc, or dropped one, or put one back in its place, a guy would say "Mission Control, we [something I was never able to hear because it was too loud in there all the time!!]" So not only is it frustrating that I can only remember part of what someone said in the game, it's also frustrating that I can't remember what it was freaking called! Honestly, does anyone remember this other than me? Argh, I can hardly stand it! (EDIT: This one is called Total Eclipse, not to be confused with a video arcade game of the same name.)

4. A Computer Game I Played in Kindergarten

I was in Kindergarten in 1999 and 2000. Our teacher had a few computer games that she would let us play. Some of them were on the Apple II, and some of them were on the Mac. I remember playing Reader Rabbit's Kindergarten and JumpStart 1st Grade Math for the first time in that Kindergarten classroom.

But I also remember playing a few more... obscure computer games. Like this one! I distinctly remember these things about this game:

* You started out in some space station type hub world thing. When you clicked on some switch or something somewhere, the gravity would turn off, and things would start floating around, all while "Beautiful Blue Danube" played in the background.
* There was some sort of frog guide who accompanied you (it was not Thaddeus Pole or that frog from the JumpStart games, that much is for certain).
* One scene that you could go to had a radio tower or something which, when clicked on, would play a clip of a guy saying "This is Bag Bad Joe (?) reporting live from Springtown!" followed by giving a report of... something. I would click on that all the time because I thought it was the funniest thing, for some reason.

With the frog and the space station, some of you may be thinking it was Explorapedia. But it wasn't. Remember, this was a Mac game. Explorapedia was a Microsoft product, and was only made for Windows. Though the hub (and Thaddeus Pole) made me think that was it as well. (EDIT: I've finally figured this one out: it was called "Let's Pretend! Volume 2: Space is Our Playground!" At least, I'm 99% positive it was this one. Now I just need a copy or video footage to confirm for certain.)

5. Another Computer Game I Played in Kindergarten

Man, I played a lot of obscure computer games in Kindergarten! This one was also on the Mac, and again, I remember very little about it. The only thing I remember is that there were these multi-colored aliens (I think red, blue, and purple), and you had to put them back in their places. After you did, they flew away. They would say things like "Good. Bye. Earth. Ling." and "I'm going now..." and whatever they said had a weird, funny audio effect on it.

Now, this one I kind of have a bit of hope for. I went to TV Tropes' "You Know That Show" about this one and... at least I got someone who knew what I was talking about. And like me, that person apparently used to have nightmares about this game. So I'm optimistic.

And that ends the main topic of this blog post. My question for this week is: Does anyone other than me remember any of these things? I sure hope so, because I don't want these to drive me insane like Learning Voyage almost did.

But onto another topic: as I said in my last post, I'm hoping to post more regularly here, and my next topic is going to be--guess what?--a computer game I played in Kindergarten, specifically one of the aforementioned Apple II games: a little-known game called Mathosaurus. So it's the Return of the Computer Games! Games! Games... Okay, there's no way I can save that joke.

Anyway, see ya next week! I'm going now...

-Johnny